he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
