He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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