I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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