Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
