I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
