My girlfriend figured out who you are.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
