Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
