Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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