i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
