i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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