Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
