i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
my liver is dry heaving
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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