I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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