could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
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