For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
