I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
