Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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