You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize