Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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