You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
one two three fourrrrnication!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
