The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
