And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
