Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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