I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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