Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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