Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
