dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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