I want to make a zoo with you.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
