WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
