the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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