I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
