Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
