I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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