i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
