OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
