I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
