He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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