i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
