if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She announced her abortion via fbk
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
