whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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