Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
