just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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