Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize