i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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