i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
