i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
this beer tastes like vomit already
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
