Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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