I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I skipped work to stalk him.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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