I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
