hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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