Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I did not marry a roomba.
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