Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
