i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
