So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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