Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
