Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
