I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
wanna go halves on a baby?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
