i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
