My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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