if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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