He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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