do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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