I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
