U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
