her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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