Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize